Jen ([info]one_step_dead) wrote,
2005-07-15 08:50:00
  • Mood: angry
  • Music: mr.brightside the killers

If Only..

how could we have been so fucking careless in our actions?
I havent went to sleep in 2 days.
its 9am.. when was the last time I slept?
it seems like a whole other lifetime
the last time that i dreamed..
i was out all night last night
doing the thing i always dreamed to do.
and where did it get me?
at first freedom, carelessness, adrenaline, happiness*.
now confusion, pain, and mad
because i didnt get caught.
I was a million miles away from home
no one knew where I was except the people I was with.
i didnt even know where I was.
damn i feel so awful.
i dont regret it, it made me so happy
i wish i could take it away for you.
i dont know what you are going through
why didnt i deserve this?
i should be the one on the other side
you should be the one ok
i should be the one going through everything
you have everything going for you
I have nothing much
now i stripped it away from you

if only i had never been in band..

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  • 24 comments

[info]xlight_of_lovex

July 15 2005, 19:45:21 UTC 6 years ago

Jen, hun, anything that happened last night is not your fault!
The guys chose to do everything that they did. And you certainly can't blame it on being in band.
You silly, silly girl. :P

[info]one_step_dead

July 16 2005, 02:38:49 UTC 6 years ago

i can so blame it on being in band. band has caused everything!
EVERYTHING that has ever went wrong in my life that i count right now was because i started band.
ok..maybe some good things came out of being in band..*darty eyes*
but the majority is bad!

[info]rustanator

July 16 2005, 00:10:13 UTC 6 years ago

wow you seem like you care alot. Lucky him/her

[info]one_step_dead

July 16 2005, 02:39:28 UTC 6 years ago

hah, what can i say?
im a good person...



::cries::

[info]rustanator

July 16 2005, 05:19:11 UTC 6 years ago

rrright


[info]one_step_dead

July 16 2005, 05:56:06 UTC 6 years ago

what ru trying to say?
I AM a good person, mostly, kinda, sortof... maybe...

[info]rustanator

July 16 2005, 06:02:21 UTC 6 years ago

mhmm, better then me...


[info]one_step_dead

July 16 2005, 06:07:28 UTC 6 years ago

no.. I really dont think so..

[info]rustanator

July 16 2005, 06:10:27 UTC 6 years ago

I don't know..we both have said/done some horrible things...


[info]one_step_dead

July 16 2005, 06:13:42 UTC 6 years ago

people do all the time
it doesnt make them bad people
your mistakes dont define who you are

[info]rustanator

July 16 2005, 06:15:54 UTC 6 years ago

yea i guess your right, but people say you are defined but lots of different things. Its all just a opinion. I guess what really matters is what your own opinion is and the one of those you care about.


[info]one_step_dead

July 16 2005, 06:23:16 UTC 6 years ago

i guess so..
but how could someone define who u r by your mistakes..? thats just wrong.

[info]rustanator

July 16 2005, 06:26:31 UTC 6 years ago

true, but thats what soceity does. And parents...they only focus on the stupid mistakes you make and shrug off all the good you do


[info]one_step_dead

July 16 2005, 06:55:05 UTC 6 years ago

and they think if your doing one thing wrong then your doing everything wrong.
how fagaliscious

[info]rustanator

July 16 2005, 06:58:40 UTC 6 years ago

true, true. Also, they always remeber the bad things you do and quickly forget the good. I hate that. "Sure you've made all A's for the past 10 years in school but you just made a high B so therefore you are going to boot camp"


[info]one_step_dead

July 16 2005, 07:05:39 UTC 6 years ago

si they think we should be perfect and if we slip up once, BOOM.
scarred for life.
i think they should be locked up.. or something..

[info]rustanator

July 16 2005, 07:11:09 UTC 6 years ago

or at least naked...wait...


[info]one_step_dead

July 16 2005, 07:12:22 UTC 6 years ago

..........................
uhh....
whatever helps you sleep at night.

Anonymous

July 16 2005, 05:59:58 UTC 6 years ago

wow that was a stupid stunt you pulled jennifer.
i dont know what happened but it sounds stupid.
really, why are you hanging around with these assholes who get you into trouble and break your heart? when are you going to see i am here?

[info]one_step_dead

July 16 2005, 06:09:32 UTC 6 years ago

what the hell is your problem??
i dont even know you and here you are calling my friends assholes.
I dont see that you are here because you wont tell me who you are
maybe your the asshole.

[info]rustanator

July 16 2005, 06:16:42 UTC 6 years ago

lol


[info]i_have_a_snake

July 16 2005, 18:45:14 UTC 6 years ago

hahahahaha... umm...

[info]lildrummerboy35

July 18 2005, 03:50:04 UTC 6 years ago

hey i wil be by to pick u up at 730 so u better be up and outside by 730 or i will leave ur tail ill be in my dads silver truck alright well bye

[info]i_have_a_snake

July 18 2005, 05:27:49 UTC 6 years ago

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